


Ain't Clowning Around

by anipwrites



Series: Zenko: A Fox!Nathanael Miraculous Story [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Clowns, Fox Miraculous, Gen, Nathanael gets the fox miraculous, Now France has to deal with it too, Remember all the crazy clowns the US had to deal with this year?, Scary Clowns, and I know it mentions halloween even though it's november now, consider: I don't care, one of many I know I know, rated T for some swearing, so I guess if you don't like clowns don't read it?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-09-01 12:40:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8624827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anipwrites/pseuds/anipwrites
Summary: Nathanael Kurtzberg is gifted with unimaginable powers, just in time to help Ladybug and Chat Noir with the newest akuma; an elusive clown who's kidnapping children.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my story! I hope you guys like it! I know there's a ton of Miraculous!Nathanael stories out there, so I really appreciate you dropping by to check out this one!  
> This story is beta'ed by @flautist4ever. Check out flautist4ever.tumblr.com if you get the chance!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ramone, a for-hire clown down on his luck, is akumatized.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to my story! Thanks for reading!  
> This chapter's pretty short, but don't worry; all the upcoming chapters will be longer!  
> Edit: with some help from my beta [flautist4ever](http://flautist4ever.tumblr.com/)  
> , I extended the prologue a bit! New chapters will come eventually, but I'm working on several things at once, which obviously takes time!

He really hated this job. He never wanted this job in the first place, why the hell was he doing this?! He looked ridiculous. Which, hypothetically, was his job, look ridiculous and make people laugh.

Problem was, he wasn’t a very funny guy.

But whatever. The job payed, so he took it. Which is why he was standing at the front door to some dumb house dressed up in full clown costume. He’d never been in this section of Paris before, it was more on the outskirts if anything. But he could tell he was at the right house by the ridiculous amount of balloons tied to anything and everything. The client still hadn’t freakin’ answered yet, so he knocked for the fourth time. His hands balled into fists and he hopped up and down, psyching himself up.

 _‘Alright, Ramone, you got this. All you gotta do is impress a few dumb kids and you’re home free with cash in your pocket and--I forgot the nose again, didn’t I.’_ God, he hated that dumb clown nose, but it was part of the costume. He fished in his pocket and found the damn thing and put it on his nose. It was a bit hard to breathe, but it would all be worth it once he got paid.

The door opened and he found a woman standing there. He could already hear the ear-shattering shrieks of six year olds when she cracked open the door. She looked him over and scowled.

“Are _you_ the clown?” she scoffed with a roll of her eyes but let him in anyways. He stepped inside and found exactly what he was expecting; a bunch of running, screaming six year olds charging into everything and destroying the house with party hats on. With a sigh, Ramone let the lady--probably the lead mom of this wreck--lead him to the living room before calling all the kids up.

And that’s when he panicked. Just because a few pals of him thought he was hilarious when a few beers had been passed around didn’t mean he could entertain a buncha kids. He’d made a huge mistake. He’d just have to improvise.

Lead mom turned to one of her friends--a subordinate mom?--and said “I’m going to the bathroom, and then I’m gonna make sure the blowups are setting up properly. Keep an eye on this clown.” wow. Was that supposed to be a reference to his current job or to his character? He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to be offended or not.

“Sure thing, Helena.” the woman turned to him once her friend left and raised an eyebrow before sitting down on the couch with a few of the other moms. Guess that was his cue to start.

He cleared his throat before starting with his best goofy voice. “Ahyuck, hiya kids, I’m Happy the Clown! Who’s the lucky kiddo, who’s the birthday kiddo?!”

The kids all kind of just stared up at him in shock before

one of the brats scoffed and raised his hand. A few of his friends snickered. 

“Check this out! Look at this coin here!” he held up a glistening Euro for the entire crowd to see. No one looked particularly impressed by it, but he hadn’t done the trick yet. He pretended to move the coin into his left hand, but in reality snuck it down his shirt sleeve. “And now, I’m gonna--”

“You’re gonna pretend you found a quarter behind my ear, right?”

“Aye, shaddup, lemme finish!”

“Excuse me, sir?!” Subordinate Mom muttered. He couldn’t help but wince. Okay, so back-talking the kids seemed against the rules. He blew into his clenched fist and revealed it was empty. No one was very impressed.

Things took a bad turn when he went over to pretend to find the Euro behind the kid’s ear. All his little gags and tricks fell out of his sleeve--about ten Euros, a deck of cards, a pair of die, a pack of cigarettes, you name it, it probably fell on the kid’s lap. His friends laughed. At least he was getting laughs…?

“Alrighty, kiddos, wanna hear some jokes?” he got no response from anyone. He’d gone back to his goofy dumbass clown voice and everything, and he got nothing. He saw one of the moms on the phone with someone in the kitchen, hopefully not with the company he was working for at the moment. Geez, he really needed to recover from this. “Why did the chicken cross the road?” silence again. 

“Why?” one of the kids finally said.

“Because…” fuck. How did he usually end this joke? Oh, right! “Because it was a suicidal chicken!” no laughs. The moms on the couch scowled, and the one in the kitchen continued fussing into the phone about his performance. If he was lucky, it was just some friend of hers, and the conversation would simply make it harder to get hired out and not result in him getting fired entirely. “Alright, alright, alright, here’s a better one! Why was the little girl sad?”

“Why?” the same kid said, snickering.

“Cuz her friends and family died!” no laughs. A girl raised her hand.

“What is ‘died’?” she asked.

“Well, ahyuck, you see, kids, death is basically--”

“Ex _ cuse  _ me, sir?!” the mom snapped, covering the mouthpiece of her phone to send him a glare. Subordinate Mom sent a text, probably out to Leader Mom. Okay, fatalistic humor--good for buds at the bar, bad for six year olds. What did six year olds even like these days??

“You kids want some balloon animals?” that elicited a few excited cheers from a few of the kids on the younger side, which  was good enough for him.

“I want a snake!” one of the girls shouted. Alright, great, snakes were easy enough, right? Just a straight--

“No, no, sweetie, why not get something else, like a poodle or a princess, or a--” one of the moms began to suggest.

“But, mommy! I want a snake!” the little girl began to wail. Well, he wasn’t going to get in the middle of that mess. A snake was easier anyways.

Ramone reached into front pocket to get the balloons and ended up dumping half his balloons, a few whistles and other toys, and… was that an old condom? The kids were laughing. He quickly swiped out the contents of the pocket before finding a green balloon and beginning to blow it up. He just had to get enough air in it, not too much--what was too much for these things again--

The balloon popped in his face, sending the little girl crying and running back to her mother. The rest of the kids were startled before they began to laugh as well--whether at him or at her, he wasn’t quite sure and didn’t quite care. He was getting laughs. He could manage this. Just… just another hour of this. Shit.

“Okay, uh… check this out, kids!” he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a string of hankies all tied together. He managed to pull out three before it came loose, and he had to reach back for the rest. Hankies four through nine were okay, even if the sixth had a weird stain on it.

_ Hankie number ten had a cockroach in it. _

The little girl who had asked about death and her friends all screamed first. Next thing he knew, the huge pest was skittering towards the couch--and therefore them--and the pack of brats were all running away with a scream as far away from him as they could. No no _no,_ they couldn’t run away, or he wouldn’t get paid, he needed that money!

“Hey! You little brats get back here before I knock your teeth out with a baseball bat, huh?!” he shouted, a hand balling up into a fist as he shook it in front of him.

“That’ll be quite enough, sir, now get out of my house!” uh oh. Leader Mom was coming in from outside, and she looked pissed. Yeah, he had messed up a bit with threatening the annoying twerps, but give him another chance, man! The woman forced him out of the door and off the porch before storming up to to her door again.

“Hey, wait, ain’t ya gonna pay me?!” he shouted after her, only to have the door slammed in his face. It was drizzling outside, and she had pushed him into a puddle in the sidewalk. Well, dammit, he didn’t need to work for some prick and her loud-ass kids anyways! With a grumble, he picked himself up off the sidewalk and walked off. The white paint was melting off his face and dripping onto his costume. He was tempted to wipe it all off on his sleeve, but knew he’d might have to break out the stupid costume again and service some more dumb kids. Plus, this thing was a rental.

The rain started coming down harder. Fuck, he didn’t have his fucking car anymore. Today was the absolute _worst,_ could it _possibly_ get any worse--what the fuck was that black butterfly doing flying at him--

A purple haze overtook his vision when the butterfly seemed to just disappear into that dumb-ass clown nose, and he heard a voice.

“Night Jester, I am Hawkmoth. The people of Paris don’t appreciate your skills, but I do. Not everyone appreciates clowns like we do. Let’s show them how? I can help you get your revenge on all of those kids; all you have to do is retrieve a few items for me.” a dark voice said. A grin stretched across his face at the thought of getting revenge on those twerps.

“Yeah, sure, show me what you got, Hawkmoth.” he was ready for anything this guy threw at him. Grab some dumb pieces of jewelry and get powers? If that wasn’t a good deal, then what _was?!_

The Night Jester was gonna get these Miraculouses. And nothing was gonna get in his way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter or two will be up soon! Thanks for reading this far!


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chloe is rude as hell, Nathanael runs into a clown, some old guy is about to die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! Thanks so much for reading this far, I really appreciate it!  
> This chapter is also kind of short, but I think I'll leave it here for the day. I want to get a bit further in the writing ahead of here before I post the other chapters I have written.

Honestly? He should have been expecting it.

When was Chloe  _ not  _ teasing him? In fact, when was Chloe not teasing  _ anyone?  _ But it appeared that this week, he was the main target of Chloe and Sabrina’s torments. And they seemed to be fascinated with fruits and vegetables this week.

“Hey, Tomato Face!” Chloe shouted, slamming a hand on his desk and disrupting him from his drawing. Nathanael let out a sigh and looked up, his desk partner Lila looking just as irritated. Before he could stop her, the blonde snatched up the drawing he was working on and turned it over to look at it. “What are you drawing? More dumb pictures of Marinette? Remember what happened  _ last  _ time you drew Marinette?”

Nathanael had to fight to keep his rage from boiling over. Yes, Chloe, he  _ did  _ remember what had happened the last time he had drawn Marinette. And that picture wasn’t even of Marinette, was she blind, it was clearly of Ladybug! Ugh, this wasn’t the first time Chloe had called him out this week, but it was the first time the entire class had turned to look at him. He could feel their eyes boring through his skull, burning with curious intensity as they watched the interaction. Dammit, Chloe!

“What’s the matter, Carrot head? Too ashamed to admit it?” Sabrina taunted. That’s it.

“Okay, no, I’m not too ashamed to admit it, there’s nothing to admit. I was simply waiting for you two to realize that the drawing you’re holding isn’t even of Marinette, it’s Ladybug, they’re two completely different people. Or are you blind, miss Bourgeois?”

Nathanael heard Kim let out a long ‘oooh’, and a few people’s hands flew to their mouths to prevent themselves from doing the same. Chloe and Sabrina took another look at the picture and their eyes widened when they realized that it  _ was  _ Ladybug, hero of Paris, and not Marinette, hero of his heart. Then Chloe turned red. Was it embarrassment? Fury? The world may never know--

“Well, it wasn’t any good anyways, no wonder you couldn’t tell!” she scoffed as she tore the paper in half, then in half again. Nathanael couldn’t help but wince with each slow, torturous rip, as if it were ripping into his soul. He had worked so hard on that sketch, he was going to actually color that one, but now all of his efforts were for naught.

“Hey!” he barely noticed when Lila stood up and snatched the paper from Chloe. “Leave him alone! What did he ever do to you?!”

Chloe let out a laugh. “Well, little miss liar, since you’re new here, you don’t know that this  _ creeper  _ broke into my room in the middle of the night and tried to torture me!”

“What?” Lila turned to the redhead behind her, an eyebrow raised. Nathanael felt his cheeks heating up with embarrassment. Yes, it was true, but not in the way Chloe was implying it to be!

“I-I… I… it wasn’t me. I mean, it was me, but I wasn’t… myself. I was the Evillustrator, I was akumatized by Hawkmoth, I would have never done such a thing of my own volition!” Lila looked sympathetic. Everyone knew she had been akumatized a few weeks ago, and everyone also knew she was still pretty bitter with Ladybug. But she was more than capable of sympathizing with akumatization.

“Oh yeah?! Then, why do you remember everything you did so well?!” Nathanael couldn’t hide his wince. Everyone else in class got awkward, more awkward than they were before, quickly averting their eyes. Most akuma victims could barely remember what they even looked like, felt like, or did when they were possessed. Nathanael was able to draw an entire comic relaying what happened, a full two weeks afterward. It was strange, it was weird, unusual, and perfect bait for Chloe to use against him. “The only reason he could  _ possibly  _ remember all of that is because he  _ wanted  _ to do it! You  _ wanted _ to torture me!”

“No, I didn’t--”

“You  _ wanted  _ to force your dumb crush to go on a date with you!”

“I didn’t force--”

“You  _ wanted  _ to drown Marinette and Chat Noir!”

“Chloe--” Adrien began to oppose, but once Chloe was on a roll there was no stopping her.

“I swear, I--” Nathanael could feel the pressure in his chest rising as panic began to set in, his heart racing. No one would listen, no one believed him, everyone thought he was some kind of monster!

“And you  _ wanted  _ to work for Hawkmoth!”

“I didn’t, Chloe, I didn’t, please--!”

“Wanna know, Lila the Liar?” Chloe pushed Nathanael out of his seat and grabbed the sketchbook out of his hands, opening it so all the loose pages fell out. And right there, on the first page, was a drawing of the Evillustrator.  _ “Read all about it!” _

“No!” Nathanael jumped to his feet and managed to grab the book back, scooping all of the pages littering the floor into his hands, and ran for the door, to the shocked gasps of everyone. Nathanael Kurtzberg skipping school was unheard of. Sleeping in class? Sure. Drawing instead of taking notes? Always. Flat-out skipping? No way.

And it almost didn’t happen.

Right when Nathanael whipped open the door, Miss Bustier was about to come in. She stared, wide eyed, at the child about to leave.

“Nathanael, where are you going/?” she asked, concern etched across her face. Nathanael ducked his head, hugging his sketchbook protectively to his chest.

“Out,” he muttered.

“Out? Nathanael, class is about to start, you can’t just--”

“I can’t stay here!” the short artist forced his way out the door past Miss Bustier and raced down the steps, not even stopping when Mr. Haprele called out after him. Soon, the young boy was out the door and off like a rocket. Miss Bustier couldn’t bring herself to do anything but stare; she was wearing heels, so she couldn’t go after him very well anyways. She could deal with what caused such a reaction in the first place instead.

With a sigh, she crossed her arms and turned to look at her remaining students, almost all of who looked ashamed. Chloe and Sabrina did not, however, but she didn't want to assume they were always up to something. Sure, it was almost always them who were up to something, but no need to place the blame with no knowledge of what happened.

“Alright, class, does anyone want to explain to me what happened to nathanael?” she asked sternly. Before a full three seconds had even passed, each and every hand was pointing at Chloe and Sabrina, the former of whom let out an indignant  _ ‘hey!’  _ before pouting. Caline Bustier couldn’t help but sigh. “Of course…”

* * *

Nathanael could run as far as he wanted. Hell, he could run all the way to his house, he could run all the way to the other side of Paris, all the way out of France if he wanted, but he could not hide from the problems burning at his head. He couldn’t stop the tears threatening to spill from his eyes, no matter how much he wanted to. Sure, the streets were near-empty of tourists and citizens right now, but it would still be utterly humiliating if he started to cry. To let himself succumb to Chloe’s taunts  _ again,  _ to admit that she was right, that everything she said was right…

Before he knew it, he found himself sitting on the edge of a fountain, the tears beginning to fall. He tried to fight them back, but the more he fought against them, the more that came rushing forth. So he just let it happen. He needed a good cry. He hadn’t let himself cry in a long time, he needed it now. With his book clutched tight to his chest, he let himself cry, wiping the tears away with a sleeve or the hem of his shirt when they got to be a bit too much.

How long had he sat there crying? Five minutes? Ten? Thirty? Had anyone seen him? It didn’t matter to him anymore. He was satisfied. He had let everything loose in a way that drawings and paintings simply could not do. The purest form of emotional release was crying. Art was a close second, but still a synthetic relief compared to a good cry. Or at least, that’s how he reasoned it to himself. Dead god, if any of the boys at school saw him crying, it’d be all over for him...

What now? He definitely wasn’t going back to school. Not with the twosome of terror hounding him at all opportunities. He stood, and with a final sigh and a wipe of his eyes, he walked away from the fountain. 

He played with a pencil in his hand as he ventured down the sidewalk. The very same pencil that had, not but a month or two before, held a dangerous and powerful akuma. Why hadn’t he thrown it away? Well, he didn’t exactly have enough money to be tossing away perfectly good pencils. What could a student do at 9 in the morning in Paris without getting caught by the police? Nathanael Kurtzberg simply didn’t have a clue what. Perhaps the Eiffel Tower? No, no, it cost money to go up there… so the Jardins du trocadero. It was his favorite place to hang out after school; it couldn't be too bad during school hours, right?

Nothing interesting happened as he walked down the street, headed to the garden. Of course, he wasn’t expecting anything interesting to happen either. Sure, sometimes tourists got a bit wacky, but no mischief more common in other cities ever seemed to happen anymore. Crime was way down, now that Ladybug and Chat Noir were here. The police were great, but muggers seemed to fear the red yoyo and silver staff of Paris’ heroes more. Not that he was complaining. 

At the Jardins, however, was a different story. The Jardins were his garden of inspiration, quite literally, and before he knew it he was drawing a picture. It was Ladybug and Chat Noir atop the Eiffel Tower, their usual hangout spot. They were the only ones allowed at it’s very peak, probably because they were the only ones capable of getting there. But the lines he drew began to feel unnatural and tense, instead of the soft delicate curves he was trying to go for. He felt a pressure building in the air around him, and suddenly he couldn’t focus on the drawing itself. He knew exactly what this was.

Someone was watching him draw.

Nathanael did not like having people watch him draw.

He whipped his head up, wondering who the hell could possibly be so interested in him to stare at him for so long. Tourists? Maybe. Cops? Hopefully not.

He was not expecting a clown. But a clown was what he got.

The sight of this clown almost made his heart stop, and his blood ran cold. He--it certainly seemed like a he--had wild red hair whipped about in an almost Albert-Einstein like fashion, but with a few patches missing. He had a masque of white makeup on his face, only interrupted by the black rings around his eyes, a round clown nose, and the big, grinning red lips on his face. His outfit was black with white stripes, and a few suspicious-looking red stains on it. And he was holding balloons. 

Now, Nathanael had always been a bit afraid of clowns. ‘A bit’ was an understatement, he hated and feared clowns with a passion. Any other time, he probably would have gone running the other way. But yet… even as this creepy clown smiled a big, yellow-toothed smile… he felt the urge to come closer, and closer… As the clown’s hand went up to their nose, Nathanael didn’t even feel himself standing up. The sound of his sketchbook falling to the grass below was unimportant. All he wanted to do was come closer… closer… yet closer…

“Hey, man, look out!” Nathanael blinked and jumped back as a biker whizzed past, falling back into a sitting position as he and the bike barely avoided each other. His tailbone hurt as he hit the asphalt of the track hard and--

Asphalt? Wasn’t he just sitting on the bench over there? And what was his sketchbook doing on the  _ ground, his drawings were going to get messed up!  _ He rushed back to the fallen book and found that luckily, it hadn’t taken any damage. But, why would he have just left his book on the ground and gone to the bike track for no reason--

_ Clown. _

He choked down a gasp in his throat as he looked back up at where the clown was before, only to find it gone. It was like the guy had disappeared into thin air. Nathanael felt his heart begin to pound in his chest, the feeling of cotton in his throat as he struggled to even out his suddenly-quickened breathing. He did  _ not  _ feel safe here anymore, so he booked it.

Another glance down at his phone. 9:30. At 9:25, he had gotten a text from Rose. How did he not feel his phone buzz? Oh well. Might as well read it.

Rose: [Chloe and Sabrina got chewed out by Ms. Bustier and sent to the Principal’s office. Are you going to come back to school? We’re super worried.]

Come back to school? No way. Nathanael let out a huff and sped up his walking. He had already committed himself to skipping the entire day. He’d come back tomorrow, but not today. He quickly expressed his sentiments in a text before shoving the phone back in his pocket. Now what would he do with his time?

He looked at the streets around him, trying to decide if there was anything he wanted to do in particular. He had missed breakfast this morning… maybe he could go to a cafe…

Then he heard a shriek, and turned to find a falling brick from a construction site, right above an old man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Feel free to send kudos, or comment! I also appreciate helpful critiques!  
> Have a nice day!


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathanael's a hero now, but he wakes up in some weird medicine shack with the old man he just saved. A really nosy old man. After talking to him, he grabs a bite at a cafe and runs into another clown. The same clown? He doesn't care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I know these last few chapters have been updating pretty fast but I'm going to tell you right here and right now there is no way this thing is going to have a regular updating schedule. Do not be mistaken; I had the prologue all the way up to chapter 3 written before I even considered publishing, and I got stuck for half a month on chapter 3 anyways. I'll update as quickly as I can, but this will not update regularly.  
> On a better note, across the two sites I've posted this on, I've gotten a lot of positive feedback on the story so far and it makes me so happy! Thanks so much, everyone!  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion as he watched the brick fall through the air. Poor old man needed a cane to walk, there was no way he’d dodge it in time, and that’s  _ if  _ he even got the chance to see it coming for him. There were five, maybe ten people around, but they could do nothing but watch. It was as if they were frozen to the spot, desperately hoping someone would have the courage to step in and help him, to stop the death they were all sure they were about to witness. 

Nathanael’s knees shook as he watched the brick fall closer and closer, plummeting dangerously. He was scared out of his mind,  _ please _ someone move. But the only movement was a mother covering her young son’s eyes as he clung to her.  _ Was no one going to help him? _

He felt a sharp burning seize his chest and his heart beat fast with adrenaline. He wasn't going to let this happen if he could stop it. Nathanael Kurtzberg was not going to be to blame for some poor old man dying from a construction accident. He was there, he could do something, so he would. Or at least try his best. His grip against his sketchbook shifted into a one-handed gasp as he rushed forwards. He wasn’t aware of the fact that he was shouting for the man to ‘look out’, was barely aware of the fact that he was actually  _ doing  _ this until he grabbed the old man and pushed him aside, away from the path of the falling brick.

Lightning danced in his head as the brick fell on his shoulder and scraped against his arm, shocking everything into real time. The shocked gasps of the crowd reached his ears the same moment he processed the old man’s own grip on his sleeve. An iciness crawled up his arm, yet it stung hotly. He almost didn’t want to look. But he did.

The brick had torn right through his shirt sleeve, revealing for all the world to see his thin, pale arms. But the thing that was catching everyone’s attention was the long, jagged cut in it, open and bare and stinging every time the cold autumn breeze cut through the air. And his shoulder was bloody as well, the dark red substance seeping through his purple jacket and staining it. Just looking at it made the shock of adrenaline disappear and a chill go down his spine. He began to feel lightheaded at the sight of all the blood. All sound suddenly seemed to become muted, swimming around him but his brain just not being able to comprehend them.

He felt a tug on his arm as it was wrapped around someone’s shoulder, and before he knew it, he was being walked off. Honestly, yes, he should have been more concerned, being lead off by a stranger. But he wasn’t thinking straight. His head was throbbing from the pain, he couldn’t think. He let himself zone out as his legs carried him along.

Which is how he found himself face down on a mat with no idea where he was.

Reality and common sense shot through his veins and he quickly forced himself up, ignoring the searing pain in his left shoulder as he jumped to his feet and turned around. His pants were still on, but his jacket and shirt were on the floor. The air conditioning cooled the slick sweat rolling down his back as he looked around for any sign of who’s house this was and why he was in it.

“Ah, so you’re finally awake,” he whipped his head to see the old man he had saved earlier sitting on a little mat in front of a table, drinking tea from a little cup. Nathanael hesitated, raising an eyebrow.

“...What is going on?”

“Well, you saved me, but you were half-conscious after the brick hit you. I couldn’t just leave you on the road, young man, so I took you to my healing shop.”

“Healing… shop…?”

“Yes! Healing shop! I have elixirs and a few chants I can do, but I also have bandages and more traditional ointments. I figured you’d want to be awake for that, however, so I decided to let you rest. Would you like some tea?”

Fair enough. Nathanael did like tea, and he seemed like a nice guy. He’d never met anyone wearing a hawaiian shirt who was  _ absolutely  _ horrible. He let himself relax and walked over to join the old man at the table, who poured him some tea.

“What kind of tea is it?” he asked, even as he brought the cup to his lips.

“Green.”

“Oh! Do you have some honey I could borrow?” the man nudged a jar of honey over to him with a kind smile, and Nathanael added it into his tea. He smiled as he took a sip. Green tea with honey was one of his favorites, it always helped him when he needed inspiration for an art project, or--

“S-Sir, did you happen to grab my sketchbook, did I drop it?!” Nathanael began to panic. What if he had left it there?! What if some stranger saw it and saw his stupid drawings?! What if someone stole it?! What if one of Marinette’s parents--or even worse, Marinette herself!--found it?! He could feel his breathing pick up as seemingly every possible scenario went through his head. 

“No worries, young man, it is on the table there.” the man nodded his head towards the wall, and the redhead turned to see that his messenger bag, sketchbooks, and pencils were all neatly stacked on a table. “I didn’t look through any of it, although I was considering trying to find an ID if you didn't wake up soon. Wouldn’t want your parents to be worried.”

Nathanael couldn’t help but let out a bitter scoff, averting his eyes down. “Oh, trust me. They wouldn’t be worried unless I died or something, probably barely at that.” all he saw was his reflection in the mug, and he didn't much like what he saw. A too-short, too-scared boy with no one who cared for him, not even his own parents. How pathetic. He only felt more pathetic when he looked up and saw the sympathetic look in the old man’s eyes.

“Young man… shouldn’t someone your age be in school right now?” was all he asked, but something told him the man wanted to know more.

“Well, yeah, classes are going on right now--what time is it?”

“It’s 10:03.”

“Yeah, classes are in right now. But I couldn’t stay. Chloe--this girl at school--she, um, she and her friend like to tease me. She ripped up one of my drawings of Ladybug and brought up when I--I mean, some bad memories, and i just couldn’t stay any longer.”

“Ladybug? Do you like Ladybug?” he quirked an eyebrow. This man asked a lot of questions. But the environment of the medic shop felt like the air the Akuma therapist had had--whatever he said here would not leave the room. He felt comfortable saying a few more things.

“How could I not like Ladybug? She and Chat Noir are the heroes of Paris! They saved me from when I was--uh, in danger.” despite the casual air, he didn’t want to talk about the Evillustrator. After all, even the therapist seemed alarmed at just how much he had remembered.

Nathanael wasn’t sure he liked the look the old man was giving him. He looked him up and down, and raised an eyebrow, paired with a plotting smirk, as if he had some sort of plan but wasn't letting him in on it yet. “If given the chance, would you help Ladybug and Chat Noir? If given the chance to be a hero like them, would you take it?”

“Why are you asking me this?” he shifted in his spot, uncertain of what exactly this old man was expecting to hear or why he wanted to know in the first place. 

“If you don’t want to answer, I understand.”

“Well--I mean--okay. If Ladybug and Chat Noir needed my help, of course I’d try to help them. But I’m a weak, scrawny coward who cries too much, so I wouldn’t be much use to them anyways. But I would try. And if I had the chance to get powers like they do, I-I-I would like to think I’d take it, but… I know myself too well. I’d be scared, I’d chicken out, I’d disappoint  _ everyone _ .” he felt something strange, like a cold dark hand squeezing at his heart, and a strange burning in his hand at the same time. It reminded him of things he’d done, things he’d let happen, things he’d remembered all too well. “Plus… I don’t deserve it. I’ve done horrible things and I don’t possibly deserve such powers.”

“Young man, have you been…?”

“It’s nothing you need to care about. Can you please put on the bandage now?” Nathanael didn't mean to be snappy and rude, but the conversation had suddenly hit too close to home and put him in a bad mood. Nevertheless, the man simply smiled, and stood to go get the bandages off the shelf. 

After a bit of ointment was added and his shoulder and arm were wrapped, Nathanael was ready to go. But, he really needed to use the bathroom all of a sudden. Why?? He hadn’t eaten breakfast, and had taken maybe three sips from his tea the whole time he was here! Not even a whole glass! But he went anyways. 

Maybe if he had been a bit more suspicious of the old man, nothing would have happened. Maybe the course of his life wouldn’t have changed. Maybe fate never had such a twist in store for him, maybe he hadn’t been meant for greatness. Or… Had he been all along?

Soon Nathanael was seriously ready to leave. He slipped on his shirt and his jacket, careful not to disturb the bandages too much. He was surprised to find his jacket stitched closed. The old man must’ve done it while he was unconscious. With a quick thanks and a bid goodbye, he left, never catching the smug look on his face.

_ ‘Maybe I can finally swing by that cafe,’ _ he pondered. For a moment, he considered going to the Dupain-Cheng Boulangerie-Patisserie. It was the best bakery in town, in his opinion, and not just because Marinette took a few afternoon shifts working for her parents. But, as kind as the two owners were, they’d probably still make him go back to school. It was far too close to the school to risk it, anyhow. The time was 10:38, according to his phone. At this point, this was going to be brunch.

He slipped into the bakery and looked around. It was nice and homey and warm, but also a bit dark. It was a warm darkness, dark wood floors and coffee brown walls and yellow-hinted lights giving it a bit of a sleepy feel. That was fine with him. He glanced over the menu and ordered some carrot cake with a coffee. He waited until his order was called before he started drawing. He tended to zone out, and he didn’t want to miss his food. 

But drawing felt unnatural now. Chloe’s taunts were on his mind, brought back by what the old man had said. 

‘ _ Tomato face!’ _

_ ‘Carrot head!’ _

_ ‘Creeper!’ _

_ ‘You wanted to drown Marinette and Chat Noir!’ _

Monster.

_ ‘You wanted to torture me!’ _

Monster.

_ ‘You wanted to work for Hawkmoth!’ _

_ Monster!  _

That’s all he was, all he was ever going to be, a monster! Why was he cursed like this, why did he remember so much, why! Had he really wanted it? Had he really wanted all of that?! If given the chance again, would he accept Hawkmoth’s deal with open arms?! Was he just a tool?! Would he say no, was it  _ possible  _ to say no?!

Nathanael looked down when he realized his pencil had been moving, and what he saw chilled him to the bone. Staring right back at him was the Evillustrator. He quickly slammed the book closed and rested his elbow on it, as if closing the book could keep that monster and all the thoughts in his head trapped inside of it. He felt all eyes on him. He knew it was because slamming the book had created a loud noise that was sure to catch people’s attention, but his thoughts twisted reality until they were glaring at him accusingly. They knew what he was, they knew what he had done. He felt the panic rise in his chest and tried to avoid their gazes, tried to ignore them. It was near-impossible, but a bite of carrot cake helped.

The cake was nice and warm, and the taste helped bring back good memories. Memories of sitting at a dinner table, his older sister by his side, their parents sitting with him. He was telling a joke of some sort, and they all laughed. His mother had made carrot cake, his favorite, and they were all together having a good time. God, how he missed his older sister.

He let his mind dream until he became painfully aware of just how long he had been mentally wandering through his memories. He rubbed his eyes and lifted his head off of his sketchbook, only to find himself face-to-face with a barista. 

“Um, sir? You’ve been here for an hour, and it's rush hour, if you wouldn’t mind could you please--”

“Oh! Of course! I’m sorry!” he jumped to his feet and ate the last few bites of his carrot cake in a rush, not letting himself get distracted by the memories it brought back. He tossed a few cents into the tip jar as he rushed by, his now-lukewarm coffee tight in one hand as he used the other holding the sketchbook to push the door open. He was vaguely aware of someone calling ‘have a nice day!’ out after him, but he didn’t want to bother them by staying for another second. 

Where to now? He could go to another park, not the Jardins, but there was nice park by the school? Was that too close to the school? It was around time for lunch break, too many students could be out nearby, he couldn’t risk it. Maybe the museum? He did have a student’s pass that would let him in for free, but what if they didn’t let him in because of his age, or even called the police on him? He couldn’t risk it. Perhaps--

A sudden flash of color caught his eye just enough for him to turn his head slightly, and he felt his heart skip a beat at what he saw. It was the clown. It lifted a finger and beckoned for him to come closer, to cross the street and hear whatever he had to say. Every instinct told him to run, his brain was screaming for him to fight or fly, he felt his muscles tense for a sudden outburst of energy. And yet, something was telling him to come closer. This clown clearly wanted something, maybe he had dropped an ID or something and he was trying to give it back? Curiosity began to overtake the panic in his brain, and he almost crossed the street.

Two things distracted him from doing so. One, a searing hot pain in his thigh from where his messenger bag was. It felt almost like he was being branded or something, at least how he could only imagine it to feel. Secondly, his phone buzzed, the indication of a text message. He shifted his bag over so that whatever was burning him wouldn’t be touching him. What even was it? Some stupid prank from Sabrina or something? Then he looked down at the phone.

Alix: [yo, dude?? Rose told me you aren’t coming back to school, so I figured I’d let you know that we’ve been paired up for a book report on The Three Musketeers.]

Oh, ok, cool. Alix was pretty cool, she was definitely one of the people he’d prefer to group with out of the class. He was about to type out a message when he felt a hand grip his shoulder, his left shoulder, so not only was it terrifying, but it was also painful. He whipped around to find the clown right there behind him, grinning evilly as his grip only tightened and he tried to force Nathanael to look him in the eyes.

Nathanael Kurtzberg was not having this voodoo crap.

For maybe the second or third time that day, adrenaline tore its way through his veins and he punched the clown in the face, right in the nose, and felt a satisfying crack. He didn’t have time to dwell on that, however, because every second he waited, it looked like the clown was… healing _itself?!_ _Was this an akuma?!_ No time to find out.

Before the clown could react properly, Nathanael had booked it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this far!
> 
> Sorry if some things are written weird, I'm not sure if things came out the way I intended but I hope it did! Feel free to leave a comment if there's a mistake or if things are unclear!  
> Anyone else excited about the Christmas special? I really hope Nathanael sings, his VA can sing. But TBH, if he so much as shows up in the background in some winter clothes I'll be happy. I'm easy to please, I just want to see my tomato.  
> I hope you all have a wonderful day!


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A story about the clowns appears on the news, and--what's this box doing here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long since I've updated this story! I got stuck on deciding a few things in Nathanael's future that become relevant in this chapter. I guess this counts as a late Christmas/Hannukah present, and since Kwanzaa starts today it can count as a gift for that too! Happy Holidays, everyone!  
> I'd like to give credit to [flautist4ever](http://flautist4ever.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr! She's started beta-ing a lot of my fics, and was a huge help with this chapter and a few subsequent ones as well! Also, she helped me expand on the Prologue a bit-I'm going to update that tonight as well. I'm not sure if it'll show up in email notifications for those of you who follow this story, so if you get two emails about this fic updating just ignore the second one.  
> With that all being said, I'll leave you all to the story!

As soon as Nathanael got to his apartment complex, he’d yanked his key out of his pocket and ran inside. He needed to barricade the door. Couch, coffee table, anything he could find made its way to the front of the door. Then he triple checked every single window to make sure it was locked, and closed the blinds.

Chest heaving, he finally realized how exhausted he was. A half-frozen water bottle and a comfortable seat on the floor would do. With his blanket wrapped around his head and shoulders like a shawl, he reached and turned on the TV, only to see the  _ very  _ last thing he was hoping to see.

Police sketches of several clowns filled the screen as news reporter Nadja Chamack’s voice said. “A breaking news report, as the police department receives several calls about clowns lurking in the alleys and parks of Paris!”

Nathanael jumped back from the screen and tripped over his blanket, landing on his injured side but barely noticing as he heard the rest of the news story. At least three clowns had been seen and reported by several citizens of Paris, with more reports being sent in by the minute. They were standing ominously, luring people over to them for who knows what reason. Some people had memory lapses between first seeing the clown and ‘waking up again,’ oftentimes across a street or a few blocks away before something distracted them. If some missing person alerts were anything to go by, some kids weren’t so lucky. Any viewers who had a run in with a clown were being urged to call the police with a report, providing the number on the police sketches (which were shown again; Nathanael recognized Clown #3 immediately) if it was the one they encountered, or to provide as detailed a description as possible if it wasn’t. Or, if you had any pictures of clown encounters, to send them to the station’s email address.  With one final warning to not follow any strangers, Nadja closed the report with a verbal hope that Ladybug and Chat Noir would get to the bottom of this, in assumption that they were listening. 

_ ‘So I’m not the only one who saw a creepy clown,’  _ Nathanael mused, thankful that he wasn’t going crazy or something.  _ ‘Guess I should call the police,’ _

He dialed the number and offered up all the information he could offer. Everything was a bit muddled up, the memories of the two encounters mixing together into a confused mess. He didn’t feel like he was being much help, but the officer on the phone thanked him anyhow before hanging up. He glanced at the TV screen, only to find that the news story had shifted to talking to the parents about the missing kids. His heart ached at the thought, and he shut off the TV so he wouldn't have to listen to it.

Frankly, he was stressed out now. Stressed, and frustrated with some hawaiian shirt old man. He needed a release. He decided on drawing. Nathanael gathered up the blankets and his belongings and went to his room. 

He was greeted by the sight of his drawing desk, and several half-finished paintings on easels. None of them were interesting enough for him to work on at the moment, he wanted to draw something in his sketchbook. Maybe finish that picture he was doing earlier, before painting it on a spare easel. He reached into his bag for his pencils and sketchbook, but instead found something… unexpected.

Nathanael pulled out a small black hexagonal box, decorated with a strange, imperial-looking design on the top. It fit the palm of his hand, but he had never seen something like this before. Why was it in his bag? And, most importantly, what’s inside? It seemed like something that was meant to be opened. Technically, he should return it, but curiosity overtook him. He opened it, to find a necklace that looked like a fox’s tail delicately seated on red velvet. It was a nice enough, but why--

He threw it across the room as it began to glow, gathering his blankets around him to shield his eyes. He braced himself for whatever. Maybe an explosion or something, maybe the house was about to explode. He wouldn’t have to deal with Chloe and creepy clowns if he was dead. The burst of warmth that had come with the light cooled away, prompting him to open his eyes and peek out of the blanket. There was nothing interesting at first. It was just his room, the box, the scattered materials from his bookbag across the floor. He let out a sigh of relief. 

Then a blur of orange shot down in front of him. 

Nathanael screamed and backed away until his back hit the wall behind him. His breath hitched in his throat as he realized he was cornered with this… this…  _ thing  _ in front of him! Some sort of weird, tiny, flying fox was in his room, and--

“Hey! Calm down! I don’t bite!”

It  _ talked?! _

Nathanael grabbed the nearest objects he had to defend himself; a pillow and a pencil by his bed. He hadn’t realized he was screaming, he was just focused on getting this weird thing away from him! What the hell was in that tea that old man gave him earlier?!

The small creature dodged his pencil as he swung it in front of him, paw-flipper-things up in the air as if trying to appear as harmless. “Hey, hey, calm down, you’re hurting my ears! They’re gentle…”

“What the hell  _ are  _ you?!”

“I’m Trixx! I’m a kwami! If you put on that necklace, you’ll get superpowers and can defend wherever we are from villains and monsters!”

“What the--what?!”

“Yeah! You can be a superhero!” The kwami did a backwards flip in excitement, her eyes gleaming. Nathanael was anything but excited. 

“What--I--No, no, I can’t!”

“But you can! You just have to put on that necklace and--”

“N-No, I can’t! I-I can’t, I shouldn’t, I  _ won’t,  _ I don’t deserve it! Not after… Not after what happened.” Nathanael let out a sigh, letting his hands rest in his lap. Him? Get superpowers? He was a nobody; worse than a nobody, he was a coward, he was a monster. He’d let his emotions take over reason before. He’d let the villain he’d be fighting against--if he took the necklace and accepted this huge responsibility--corrupt him before. He didn’t trust himself with whatever powers this ‘kwami’ claimed the jewel contained. How could anyone trust him as a hero?

“Huh? No no no, you were chosen for a reason! Whatever Master Fu saw in you made you worthy to be a hero!”

“A hero? I’m a miserable coward. I couldn’t possibly be a hero, I don’t deserve--”

“Here. I have an idea.”

“Hm?” He looked up at the strange floating fox, which was now resting on a bedpost. Now that he wasn’t focused on the fact that there was some random flying animal in his room, he realized… She was actually kind of adorable. 

“You can transform a few times, try it out. No fighting if you don’t want to, just try out your powers, see what it's like. Then you can decide.”

“No--but I--well--I shouldn’t--” Nathanael paused and took some time to think about it. He still really didn’t feel like he deserved it. But, someone saw some potential in him. For whatever reason. The opportunity was right there in front of him, in the form of a floating fox intrigued with some old painting on the wall. He would hate it if he rejected it and wanted it later. Plus… it could be fun.

Trixx gave him a knowing smile when Nathanael looked back up at her. “Well? Have you made your choice?”

“Yeah… I want to try it.”

“Oh, wonderful!”

“B-but, not right now. I’m not ready yet.”

“Alright! You’ll need some time to get used to me anyhow, and we’ll have to decide on where to hide me and other general maintenance.”

“General maintenance?”

“Well, you have to take care of me, and the Miraculous too.”

“Um, alright… What all do I have to do?”

“Well, in order to use your powers, I have to be fed. Especially when you detransform after using your special power. I’ll need to eat in order for you to transform again.”

“Alright. What do you need to eat?”

“Anything that’s meat should be fine,”

“Yikes. And I’ll have to carry it around with me?”

“Yes.”

“Does it have to be raw?”

“Oh, no, of course not!”

“...Here, I have an idea. Come with me.”

“Wait, but no one else can see me--” Trixx rushed to the door and hovered in front of it, waving her flippers frantically as if to stop him.

“No one else is home, I promise. It’ll be fine.” Nathanael cupped his hands to let Trixx land on them, which she did. He opened the door and walked over to the kitchen to root through the pantry. Soon, the redhead found what he was looking for; a bag of bacon bits, intended for salad, but probably good enough to feed a power-granting being. “How are these? I could carry them around in my bag, and it wouldn’t smell or make a mess.”

“Ooh! Ooh! Open it, please!” Nathanael popped open the bag, and Trixx immediately dove in and ate a few chunks of the bacon. “These are wonderful! This should work just fine!”

“Alright. So, what are my powers”

“Well. Your weapon is a flute, and--”

“Well, shit.” Trixx looked mildly alarmed at the curse. “I mean, shucks.”

“Iiiis something wrong with the flute?”

“Well, I don’t own one. I don’t know how to play one either. Lessons will cost money, and I don’t have--”

“No worries! I’m sure good fortune will come your way soon.” she grinned. “Anyways, when you play a song on your flute, you can make illusions!”

“Like Volpina?”

“Volpina? There was already a--no way, I’m the only fox miraculous…”

“A girl in my class got akumatized and pretended to be the wielder of a fox mir--well, the wielder of  _ you _ \--and tricked Ladybug and Chat Noir. Oh, god, they’re gonna hate me when they find me…”

“I’m sure it will end up okay. But, your miraculous power involves playing the flute; different notes and different speeds give different effects to the attack. Every time you play the flute for an attack, it takes a minute off of your time. After you play five songs, you’ll only have a minute left before you detransform. Don’t waste it.”

Nathanael nodded. “So, are all of my attacks related to playing the flute?”

“Well… no. All of your long-range attacks are, though. You flute is sharp on one side, and its strong, you can use it to fight like a sword or a staff.”

“Nice! Like Chat Noir’s baton!”

“I’m going to assume yes. Now that that’s settled, we’ll have to decide where you’ll be hiding me.”

“Huh… I have a pencil pouch I have in my bag most of the time, you could hide in there? Or maybe my bag itself… or my jacket?”

“Those all should be fine!”

“...wanna watch me draw?”

“Ooh! Sure, if you don’t mind!”

Nathan shifted to his desk, got out his supplies, and begun. Trixx shifted around a lot, flitting from the top of his head to the bedpost to his desk to the pillow and back again. It was distracting at first, but he didn’t mind too much. He’d need to get used to having her around anyways. Soon he barely even felt her there, barely even felt the pencil in his hand or the desk under him. He just felt his eyelids getting heavy, and his body felt weightless. His pencil was moving in his hand, but it felt distant, unattached. The lamplight dimmed as the word vanished behind his eyelids.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys all enjoyed this chapter! Happy Holidays to all of you, and since I seriously doubt I'll update this story before New Years, Happy New Year to you all as well! I wish the New Year goes well for you!  
> Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathanael learns about hiding identities, Nathanael has a bedhead, Chloe is being a bitch but Nathanael learns the art of the clap back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! Thank you so much for your patience and your reviews! This chapter is a bit longer than the others, I think. I hope you enjoy it!  
> Thanks [thecrazydragonlady](http://thecrazydragonlady.tumblr.com/) for betareading this chapter for me! (Trust me guys, this would have been a mess otherwise)

Nathanael’s head shot up from his desk when the alarm on his phone went off. He hadn’t even realized he’d been asleep. A quick glance around revealed that, luckily, he hadn’t been drooling on his drawing all through the night. Now he could just get some food, get ready for school, and--

“Ow!!”

Who the fuck--

“Well, I guess that was my fault for sleeping on your head…” the redhead looked on the ground behind him to see a small, palm-sized fox rubbing its head with its… Paws? Flippers? He wasn’t quite sure how to describe them. The sight alone brought back all of the memories from yesterday, from running into the clowns to meeting the old guy and getting his kwami. He had freaking super powers now?! Him?! And--oh god--

“Where the hell am I going to hide you?” he muttered to himself, standing to his feet.

“Yesterday, you mentioned your jacket?” the kwami suggested. He snapped his fingers.

“Right! Thanks, Trixx!” he went to the kitchen and fixed himself some oatmeal and a glass of milk, glancing at his phone again. Did he even have time to eat this? Eh. He could afford to be late for once.

Trixx sat on the table and joined him, having grabbed the bag of bacon bits and munching on a few pieces. Nathanael couldn’t help but smile. Trixx was nice. Having a magical pet that was nice to him made the whole ‘adjusting to the fact that you have superpowers’ thing a lot easier. He still wasn’t sure how he was going to learn how to play the flute yet, though. But if Trixx genuinely believed that some sort of good fortune would come his way, he wouldn’t argue.

After he finished, the two of them headed to the bathroom to fix up his hair a bit. He’d taken to flat-ironing it recently. Maybe if he looked nicer, Marinette would notice him for more than his akumatization. He couldn’t possibly compare to world-famous model Adrien Agreste, but maybe he could try. He freshened up and packed his things, pouring the bacon bits into a smaller plastic bag that would be easier to carry in his jacket. After a few final checks to make sure he was presentable, he was finally ready to leave for school.

As he walked through the streets, he couldn't help but glance at every alley, peek around every corner on his way. He was hoping not to run into anymore clowns today, but knowing his streak of luck, he'd do just that. He wasn't expecting to run into Lila though. 

"O-oh! Sorry!" he jumped back, hoping he hadn't done anything exceptionally embarrassing like spilling coffee all over her or something. Lila seemed just as shocked to see him as he was to see her.

"Oh! No worries, I'm fine.” she smiled at him, stopping a runaway pencil with her foot.

“Well, that’s good. It’s nice to see you,” He bent down to pick up the pencil. Lila was quiet for a moment before she spoke again.

“Hey… Everything okay?"

"I'm fine! I didn't drop anything, I don't think--" Nathanael stole a quick glance at the ground to make sure nothing had fallen out of his bag.

“I mean, about school. And what happened yesterday.” Nathanael winced at the memory. Schoolyard teasing, he could usually handle. But what had happened yesterday? He should’ve never opened his mouth to talk back. “I-I mean, it’s just--everyone was kind of worried. You seemed pretty upset, and I didn’t see you for the rest of the day. Where were you?”

“Yeah, I, uh, skipped the rest of the day.” he sighed, clutching the strap to his bag so tight his knuckles were white. He’d been humiliated by Chloe, he was never going to live that down. Maybe it’d be best if he just skipped today too...

"Oh. I'm sorry, I should've done more to help."

"You were awesome, actually. Most people don't try to get in Chloe's way when she's messing with people. Thanks for doing that."

"Oh. Um, no problem." Lila offered a small smile before crossing the street. He tagged along behind her. They walked in silence the rest of the way to school. He felt Trixx shift around a bit in his jacket pocket, but ignored it. He'd have to get used to it sooner or later. 

As they neared the school, Marinette ran out of her bakery and caught up with them. Lila grinned and waved. "Hey, Marinette!"

"Hi, Lila! Oh, hi, Nathanael! Are you okay after yesterday? I'm so so sorry she tormented you like that!"

"O-Oh! Yeah, no worries, I-I'm fine!" He felt a blush creep up his cheeks as he fumbled over his words. Honestly? Had it been anyone else, Nathanael would have probably told them that he didn't feel like talking about yesterday's events anymore, and leave it at that. But this wasn't just anyone, this was  _ Marinette! _ "Although, I must admit, I am kind of nervous about school today. Do you think she's still going to go after me today?"

"I dunno, honestly. They got in pretty big trouble for what they did, especially with so many witnesses. They'll probably avoid messing with  _ anyone _ for at least a week or two. But trust me, if they so much as look at you the wrong way, I'll step up."

"Yeah, me too. I hate Bitch Bourgeois as much as anyone, and I've been here less than a month already." Lila added. Nathanael grinned.

"I might have to use that one next time she tries to mess with me." he said.

"By all means, go ahead, she deserves it."

"Just not in front of Miss Bustier. She'd probably get mad." Marinette added. A sleek silver car pulled up beside them, and Adrien Agreste stepped out onto the sidewalk. Marinette immediately tripped over thin air with a startled squawk, while Lila threw a few flirtatious winks his way with a sultry, 'Hey, Adrien.'

"Hi, Mari! Hi, Lila! What’s up--are you okay?" Adrien stepped over to help Marinette up, but Nathanael was already there. "Oh! Hi, Nathanael! Everything alright after yesterday?"

"Yeah, just peachy, don't wanna talk about it." Nathanael grit his teeth. 

"Oh, um, okay? Nice hair! What'd you do to it?"

"I knew I'd noticed something different about you!" Marinette added, snapping her fingers. "It looks nice! You can see your face better!" It was true, he assumed. He'd brushed it back a bit, so now his bangs wouldn't hang in his eyes as much. He was just happy she'd noticed.

"Thanks! I just flat ironed it a little."

"No gel? You could've shaped it better."

"Nah, I don't like hair gel. It makes your hair and fingers too greasy for my tastes."

"Well, um, okay. Oh, hey Nino!" Adrien jogged up the stairs to talk to Nino, who was standing at the side of the stairs where he always waited for his best bud. Marinette let out a lovestruck sigh, her hands going to her cheeks.

"He talked to me...!" she said.

"Well, yeah, he talks to everyone." Lila shrugged, watching him chat to Nino as well. 

"Eh, not really. He's always either with Nino, Alya, Marinette, or Chloe. He doesn't really seem to bother with anyone else." Nathanael knew he shouldn't be so bitter. Marinette liked someone else, someone twenty thousand leagues above him who he could never compete with, he should just get over his dumb crush and stop hating on the poor guy. He was actually pretty nice. Sure, he didn't talk to anyone outside of his friend group much, but he'd been homeschooled. He probably wasn't used to having so many options of people to talk to. 

That’s when it hit him. Adrien didn't have any superpowers. Sure, he was a model, but he didn't have bonafide superpowers like he did! Maybe he could transform a few times, prove himself as a hero, and woo Marinette in his hero form! Then, when she's utterly in love with him, he could reveal his identity to her and they could start dating!

_ 'As glad as I am that you finally want to use your powers, I don't think using them to woo a girl is the best use of them.' _ a voice said in his head.

"Wha--gah!!" Nathanael's foot slipped off the steps and he fell backwards, landing in a pathetic red-haired heap. A few of the upperclassmen laughed as they passed by, but that was the least of his concerns. 

"Nathanael! Are you alright?!" Marinette ran back down the steps and helped him to his feet, brushing some dust and grit off of his clothes. 

"Oh, I'm f-fine, Mari! I need to go real quick, I just remembered something, I'll see you in class!" Before she could reply, he ran up the stairs and into the school, beelining straight to a restroom he knew barely anyone ever used. As soon as the door was shut, Trixx zipped out of his jacket to face him. "Wait, that was you?!"

"Who else did you think it could be?"

"Um, well, I--good question, actually. But you never told me you could talk to me telekinetically!"

"Dooooooo you mean telepathically?"

"Yeah, that!"

"I'm sorry. I must've forgotten. But, you can't tell anyone your true identity, not even Marinette, not even Ladynoir and Chat Bug or whatever you called them."

"Ladybug and Chat Noir!"

"Yeah! No one else can know!" He guessed that made sense. Ladybug and Chat Noir always seemed to run off in separate directions as soon as fights ended. They probably didn't know each other's identities, for that matter. And, in all of the comics he'd read, all the heroes either did their best to keep their powers a secret, or bad things would happen to those who they'd told. He definitely didn't want Marinette getting hurt by any akumas. He'd do his best to keep her, and the rest of the city, safe.

"Alright. I understand. Is everything okay in the jacket? We can switch you to the backpack now if you want."

"I'm okay!" Nathanael nodded and headed back out to class.

No one seemed to notice when he came in. The classroom was basically empty, save for Ivan, Mylene, and Alix. Everyone else must be at their lockers. Fair enough. He took out a few sketchbooks and continued working on his drawing of Ladybug and Chat Noir until class started. He hadn't even noticed the classroom filling up. 

He raised his hand when his name was called and more or less let himself zone out from there. He was nearly done with this drawing, and if he was lucky there wouldn’t be any interruptions, so he might finish it by the end of school! He’d already read the section in the textbook they were working on anyways, so he wasn’t concerned about falling behind in Literature at the least.

* * *

 

No interruptions from the teachers  _ or  _ Chloe? He was having an awfully lucky day today! Before he knew it, he was pulling out his lunch to eat! Rose and Juleka joined him at his desk, and they chat a bit while everyone left school for lunch. All of their homes were too inconvenient of a walk to eat there, so they just hung out with each other instead!

“So, what are your plans for today?” Juleka asked them. 

“I was gonna try and finish this thing I’m working on,” Nathanael pushed his sketchbook over to his two friends. Rose squealed in excitement.

“Oh my gosh, that looks so awesome, Nathan! This must be way more fun than playing the flute every day,”

“Oh, well I’m sure if you enjoy playing the flute then they can be equally fun, so--” wait. Rose has flute lessons. Rose is in the school band.  _ Rose knows how to play the flute.  _ “In fact, I was actually wondering if I could learn how to play the flute. It seems like a pretty cool instrument, personally.”

“Ooh! Maybe I could help! Do you have one?”

“N-no…”

“Oh! I have an old one you can borrow! Maybe you can come to my house tomorrow and we can start?”

“That sounds great, thanks!”

“Wow. At this rate, I might have to start playing the flute too.” Juleka said. 

“What if we all learned instruments and made a little band!”

“That could be fun!” Nathanael smiled to himself as his two friends bounced band names off of each other. Trixx was right. He had come across a stroke of luck.

* * *

 

As soon as he came home, he let himself flop onto his bed with a sigh. Math and Science had been utterly exhausting today, and he needed a break. 

Trixx flew out of his jacket and floated above him. “Don’t you have a test to study for, Nathanael?”

Nathanael let out a groan as he forced himself to his work desk. He was aware of the test. He didn’t  _ want  _ to think about it, but he knew he’d get a worse grade if he didn’t study. He hoped to maybe make at least a fifty on this test, a sixty if he was lucky, but he honestly doubted it would happen. And then his parents would have to see him. They only ever took time off work for parent-teacher conferences, always playing the part of the concerned parent who didn’t understand why their poor baby wasn’t doing well in class, and then immediately after go back to work and abandon him for the next few weeks. He wasn’t sure if their disappointment hurt more because he only ever saw them when they were disappointed in him, or because it felt like an act from them.

“Hey,” Trixx sat on his head, teasing with strands of his hair. “You need to focus. Here, I’ll help you. Just relax and read, you’ve got this.”

He sighed but nodded, bringing his thoughts into order and beginning to read.

Surprisingly, everything was coming nice and clear to him outside of class. It was… weird. Must have been Trixx’s doing. Whatever was happening, he sure hoped it lasted long enough for him to remember everything and pass the test. With this strange sudden understanding, he quickly tore through the reading with surprising clarity, and was done with all of the homework he’d been assigned before eight o'clock rolled by. 

“Finally, that’s over and done with!” he sighed, letting himself sit back in his chair and stretch. Trixx floated in front of him before zipping into his jacket to find the bacon bits.

“So, are we going to transform?” the kwami asked curiously. Nathanael shook his head.

“Not tonight. I don’t even know how to hold a flute properly, or play it at all. Maybe after my first lesson with Rose tomorrow.”

“...I might be able to change the weapon to something easier to learn to play…”

“Well, please, dear god, don’t make it the recorder. I’ve seen videos of people playing that and only one of them was any cool. “

“...any instruments you  _ do  _ know how to play?”

“No, not really. I know how to use instruments of the arts.”

“Instruments of the arts?”

“Y’know; paintbrushes, pencils, pens, rulers--”

“I’m not sending you into combat with a giant ruler, Nathanael.” Trixx deadpanned. Nathanael laughed a little. He had to admit it, fighting akumas with a giant ruler did seem a bit silly.

“Alright, alright, no rulers. Hey, I heard piano’s pretty easy, maybe I can learn--”

“Piano’s not easy. Try again.” Trixx sent him a glare that forced Nathanael to look away.

“Um… I guess I’ll just do the flute then…”

“That’s wonderful! We can transform tomorrow after your first lesson, then?” 

“Yeah, sure!” he grinned, pulling out his sketchbook. Trixx rested on his shoulder and watched him draw.

* * *

 

The next morning, Trixx was the first up. Nathanael’s phone vibrated on the desk besides him, but he didn’t seem to acknowledge it. The kwami sighed and began tugging at his holder’s hair.

“Nathanael… Nathanael, get up, it’s time for school…” she said, tugging as hard as she could. He shifted slightly.

“Five more minutes, maman…” the boy muttered, lazily waving her off. She pouted a moment before considering… five more minutes really couldn’t hurt… With her mind settled, she rested herself back on his head. Just five more minutes. That was all.

* * *

 

“Holy fuck, I’m late!” Nathanael exclaimed, jumping to his feet as he scrambled to get his things together. His alarm had been ringing for twenty minutes already, school was going to start in thirty, and it took fifteen to get over there! How had he missed the alarm?!

A quick glance at his phone revealed that the ringer had been switched off.

Nathanael hated his phone.

He rushed to get his things together, barely touching up his hair and deciding today was definitely a hat day. He tossed on a beanie and went with it. He grabbed his bookbag, grabbed his wallet, grabbed his kwami, and ran out of his apartment in a mad dash to get to school on time.

He arrived out of breath and with maybe two minutes to spare. By this point, Trixx had slipped into his hat, and was out of sight by the time he entered the classroom. The class stared at him as he walked to his desk.

“What happened?” Lila asked as he sat down. 

“Woke up late… ran the whole way here…” he managed to say before exhaustion hit him completely and he laid his head on the desk. The cool wood felt like pure bliss against his heated face. Lila giggled and pulled out the items for her notes, resting an arm on the table as she looked him over.

“Nice hat,” she said.

“Thanks. My mom knit it for me.” Nathanael smiled at the thought. It was one of the last gifts she’d gotten him, one of the few she’d made herself. She gave it to him the year before his sister left for university, back when they were a normal, happy family. 

God, he missed his sister.

“Your mom knits?”

“Yeah. Well, she used to. I don’t know if she does anymore.”

“That’s so cool! My mom just… She’s too busy to do ‘mom stuff,’ I guess.” she turned her head before Nathanael could say anything, her arms crossed. Class started soon after. Looked like he wouldn’t get a chance to ask.

Class, as it were, went by surprisingly fast. It passed as a blur to Nathanael, a whirlwind of note taking and teachers talking, but he couldn’t pin down anything specific he’d learned. Which mildly concerned him. Did they have any assignments? Any homework, any new projects, any tests next class? He couldn’t remember.  _ Shit.  _ He was so screwed.

Whatever. He’d figure it out later. Their lunch break had started. He‘d barely pulled out his lunch when all of a sudden Chloe and Sabrina appeared by his desk.

“Wow. I’m surprised you had the courage to even come to school.” Chloe taunted, leaning forwards. “What with that embarrassing little stunt you pulled the other day?”

“Yeah, I decided you weren’t worth missing a test for.”

“No one wants to see your ugly little villain face here,” she scoffed. “You should have just stayed home or something.”

“Especially if you’re going to wear a hat as ugly as  _ that! _ ” Sabrina laughed. “Who made that for you, your mom?!”

“Yes?” Apparently that was hilarious, because they both started laughing like it was the funniest thing they’d heard all day.

“How pathetic! You don’t even know how pathetic that is!”

Nathanael swallowed. He wasn’t going to let them get to him this time. Biting remarks tended to cause things to take bad turns when it came to Chloe. He’d have to find another way to defuse the--

“Well, at least he  _ has _ a mom!” Everyone’s jaw dropped to the floor at Lila’s comment. then Chloe’s eyes narrowed viciously.

Goddammit, Lila.

“Oh yeah?!” Her teeth ground together, she was clearly fighting back tears, but of course she wasn’t done with him yet. He wasn’t that lucky. “Well, since he’s got it so good with his goddamn absentee mother,” she reached and grabbed onto his hat.

“Wait, don’t--” he began to plead, but it was no use.

“She can make him a  _ new ugly-ass _ hat!” she yelled, yanking the hat off his head and across the room. Trixx was exposed for the whole class to see.

And not one damn person commented on her. In fact, the whole class was silent for a full five seconds.

The silence was interrupted by Chloe and Sabrina’s laughter. “Oh my god, your hair looks hideous!” Sabrina giggled.

“Doesn’t it always?” Chloe scoffed, recovering from her laughter rather quickly.

“Yeah, but it looks like a carrot blew its chunks!”

Oh, right. His bedhead. He couldn’t help but laugh a little bit.

“I tried to warn you guys. You brought this onto yourselves,” he sighed dramatically, getting up to get his hat and hoping Trixx--wherever she was--had managed to hide herself.

“It must suck not having a mom to make sure you look decent enough to leave the house, doesn’t it?” Nathanael stiffened just slightly. Though he’d tried not to let it on, all of these comments about his parents never being around cut through him. Out the corner of his eye, he saw Alix casting him a sympathetic look. The pity was almost worse than the teasing itself.

That’s when Nathanael realized that maybe, just maybe, Chloe’d lashed out like that because it was close to home for her too.

“You would know better than me,” he said, bending to pick up his hat. He turned and looked her in the eye and held the stare. “You’ve worn black and white stripes every day for the past two years at the least. And you’ve worn that damn yellow sweater every day this year. I’ve seen your closet--where something else for a damn change. You look like a bumblebee.”

The class oohed dramatically. Sabrina’s jaw dropped in shock. Chloe, frankly, was still as a statue in the face of such a call-out. Nathanael grinned, gradually making his way to the door.

“And another thing--you can get your nasty hair washed three times a day all you want, you can wear twenty designer sunglasses at once, you can change your outfit for each class if need be--but whoever’s looking  _ you  _ over in the morning is doing a damn horrible job of keeping your hideous-ass attitude in check.”

_ The class was rioting.  _ He even thought he saw Kim toss Max up in the air. Nino was pumping his fist in the air, and Alya was  _ recording.  _ Marinette was laughing her head off. Alix gave him a thumbs up, and Rose and Juleka were hugging. Chloe let out an unholy screech that sounded slightly like a ‘ _ Nathanael get your ass over here and take that back! _ ’

For the second time in three days, he left the classroom and darted out of the school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! I'm not sure when the next one will be up, depends on how long it takes me to get ahead again, but I have other fics to enjoy until the next chapter!  
> Kudos and reviews are always more than welcome! Thanks for reading, and I hope you all have a nice day!


	6. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathanael meets up with Alix after school, remembers that the clown akuma is still out there, and decides to take a nap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry for the long-ish wait, but I've finally finished Chapter 5!  
> This chapter is part of my Valentine's Day Fic Bomb-my stories The Disposables and The Living Nightmare are also getting updated tonight as well! I might also do a President's Day Drabble Drop, if I get enough finished in time.  
> This chapter was beta-read by Flautist4ever from Tumblr! Thanks so much!  
> With that, I'll leave you to reading! I hope you enjoy it!

When he came back from lunch break, Chloe didn’t dare even look at him. Kim gave him a friendly (but painful) slap on the back and a congratulatory ‘My man!’ Rose and Juleka snickered quietly, and everyone else was trying to keep a straight face lest they burst out laughing in the lesson that was soon to start. Lila offered him a high-five under their desk.

He took it.

Class went by fairly quickly. And when the day ended and the class headed out the school, Chloe didn’t even dare try to approach him.

He could get used to this.

Flute lessons weren’t necessarily  _ bad.  _ Rose clearly knew what she was doing, and was good at it. The problem was, Nathanael wasn’t. Granted, it was his first time picking up a flute ever, so he was still working on the basics--how to blow into it properly and hold it and clean it and store it--but it felt like he was going too slow. That clown akuma--if it was an akuma--was still at large, and if he was going to be a hero, he needed to be able to help Ladybug and Chat Noir defeat him.

On his way home, flute case in hand, he tugged off his beanie and looked at the little fox kwami inside. “Hey, Trixx?”

“Yes, Nathanael?”

“When Chloe pulled my hat off… where did you go?” 

“I felt her coming closer and figured out what she was going to do, and I grabbed on to the inside of the hat.” Trixx beamed up at him with a sharp-toothed grin.

“So, if she had actually looked inside the hat, then what would you have done?”

“Hm… well, I don’t know. The important thing is that, she didn’t, and no one else knows of my existence.”

“Alright,” he opened the door to his apartment and slung his bookbag off his shoulder and halfway across the room. He plopped down on the couch with a sigh, letting himself relax as the weight of his school life and social interactions melted off his shoulders.

“Um… weren’t you meeting up with Alix today for that project?” Trixx asked, floating in front of his face. His eyes blew wide and he shot up off the couch.

“Well, fuck!!” he jumped up and grabbed his bookbag and his hat again.

“Nathanael!”

“Sorry, I meant frick!” he kept forgetting his kwami didn’t like curses--why didn’t she? Oh well, wasn’t his place to be nosy. He quickly scooped the miniature flying fox out of the air and put his hat on before rushing out the door. If he didn’t want to be late, he’d have to run probably.

He had to duck and weave between a few tourist groups to make it, but he managed to get to the library at a decent time. Alix was already there, frowning at a notebook. He slid into the seat beside her and opened up his bookbag.

“Hey, tomato boy.” Alix nodded a greeting.

“Hey, cotton candy girl.”

“Don’t call me cotton candy girl.”

“Don’t call me tomato boy.”

“...fair enough. Did you actually read anything, because I sure as hell didn’t.”

“Oh, thank god, I thought I was the only one. I figured I was just going to check out the audiobook and listen to that over the weekend.”

“Sounds like a pretty good plan to me!” Alix grinned. She cast a glance over at his bag. “So… is your sketchbook in there?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Do you have that comic?” Nathanael sighed and pulled out his sketchbook, flipping to the page where the comic of his experience as an akuma started. Rose and Juleka were the first ones to see it, but Kim heard about it somehow and word spread and next thing he knew, everyone in class wanted to see his comic.

He watched Alix’s face, already knowing the routine of someone reading it for the first time. Her eyes widened and her eyebrows furrowed and arched on cue. When she had finished the comic, she turned to look at him, eyes wide like dinner plates.

“You drew this? With no outside help?”

“Yes, I did.” he ran a hand through his hair. He knew the routine, he knew what was bound to happen next.

“And you remembered all this shit? Didn’t make a single thing up?”

“Yes, I did. All true to facts, every detail as exact as I remember.”

“You sure this wasn’t a dream or something you had afterwards?”

“Yes, I am. Marinette saw it and said the date was exact, down to the letter.”

“And you did all of this, what,  _ two weeks  _ after you were akumatized?”

“Yes, I did.”

“That’s fucking  _ weird,  _ man! How do you remember all of…. All of  _ that?! _ ” she desperately gestured to the open book on the table in front of them. “I don’t remember  _ jack shit  _ from when I was akumatied, and apparently I split in fucking  _ two! _ ”

“I’m aware that it’s strange, I’ve been told so several--”

“That’s, like,  _ freaky  _ fucking weird! I mean--” she gestured at the book a few more times. “ _ What?! _ ”

“Don’t yell, we’re in a library.”

“You remember  _ every detail from being fucking akumatized,  _ and you somehow  _ don’t  _ expect me to freak out?!”

“I know it’s weird, but you could be more quiet about it.”

Alix gestured frustratedly at the book for a few more minutes before finally resigning. “I just--Max doesn’t even remember anything, and Max is  _ Max,  _ he remembers  _ everything! _ How do you remember?!”

“I… don’t know what was different for me. Maybe it’s because he hurt my hand?” he looked down at his left hand, which was gripping a pencil. “Sometimes, when other akumas are sent out, it starts hurting again.”

“He hurt you hand? Hawkmoth?” Alix gaped, eating up every bit of his story.

“Yeah, in the comic? He was mad because I wasn’t going after the miraculouses, and threatened to take my powers, and then my hand just…” he shrugged, setting the pencil down. 

Alix looked down pensively. “...well, I get the feeling that something great is about to happen.”

“You think so? Like what?” he sat up a bit, his interest piqued. Alix wasn’t always introspective or anything, but when she was… it was pretty close.

“I dunno. Just… something that’ll bring the city a few steps closer to bring down Hawkmoth. I mean… I dunno. I probably sound stupid, Kim always says I sound stupid when I say stuff like that.”

“No, no… I think you’re right. It’s been a long time, they’ll find an advantage sooner or later.”

Alix nodded, looking out the window a moment before turning back to the sketchbook. “This is pretty rad though, how you remember. And the drawings too, but your drawings are always wicked cool.”

“Oh, um, thanks!” Nathanael couldn’t help but blush a bit at the compliment.

“Anytime. So, let’s meet up in, I dunno, three days cool with you?”

“Sounds perfect. Then we can finish the report before it’s due next Friday!” the two fistbumped. Alix raised an eyebrow and they both said “Bien joue!” before devolving into a fit of giggles. Eventually, she stood and slung her backpack over her shoulder.

“See you at school. Also? Keep throwing shade at Chloe, the class is loving it.”

“I’ll keep it in mind.” he grinned as he put his sketchbook back in his bag. They checked out the audiobooks and walked to the door together before splitting their separate ways with a final wave goodbye.

As he walked back home, Trixx darted out from under his hat. “So, are we gonna transform now?”

“Eh…. maybe later. I’m tired, and we should probably wait until it gets darker. Fewer people will see, less people will see me and accuse me of being another Fox akuma.”

“Sounds fair! What are we gonna do until then!”

“I dunno, probably take a nap or--” as he turned the corner, he saw another clown--this one shorter than the one he’d seen what felt like ages ago--luring over a few kids from the playground nearby. Trixx squeaked and dove back under the hat. If that news report from a few days ago was right, the clowns were tied to the disappearances of kids all over town. If he didn’t do  _ something,  _ these kids would end up in the same situation. But he couldn’t just transform  _ now,  _ what could he do to stop it? 

He saw a rock a few feet away. It would have to do.

The kids were halfway across the street when he picked up the rock and threw it. It hit the small clown right in the head, making it turn his way with an accusatory glare. Focus gone, it lost its hold on the kids and they quickly ran off.

But now Nathanael was getting dizzy. His feet here beginning to move without his permission, and his thoughts were getting foggy, maybe he should just let the clown take him to its leader, get to the bottom of this mess--

“Nathanael, don’t!!” his kwami hissed, tugging his hair hard. He reached a hand up to soothe the pain and found himself closer to the clown than he would ever really want to be. The small trickster tried to grab him, but he jumped out of the way and ran down the street to his house.

He didn’t stop running until he’d gotten home, and didn’t even think about relaxing until he’d locked all the doors and windows. His fingers were trembling when he called the police station to file another clown sighting report, and he felt his breath shaking as he spoke. The officer thanked him for saving the kids, and urged him to get a drink of water and get some rest for the day. He promised to oblige once he hung up.

“So, when should I wake you?”

“Huh… around 7.” he sighed as he filled a glass with water and took a few sips. The water felt cold in his belly, sending a calming chill through his veins. His breathing began to relax a bit. “Yeah, I think that’s sunset. Get me around sunset.”

“Alright! Go get some rest!”

“Okay, okay, I am, I am.” he raised a hand in mock-surrender before heading into his room. He put his glass on the nightstand and laid in bed patiently until sleep overtook his senses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this chapter was kind of short. The next chapter will probably be longer, and Nathanael transforms for the first time!  
> For those who may be interested, I do art streams on Twitch usually at least once a week, on the weekends. If you want to hop in, they usually start around 6:30-7:30, and I'll be painting a drawing I did of Nathanael's Vulpes costume! [ Here's a link! ](https://www.twitch.tv/anipwrites)  
> Follow [ Flautist4ever](flautist4ever.tumblr.com)  
> Or follow me at [anipwrites](http://anipwrites.tumblr.com/), or my art-only blog [anip-art!](http://anip-art.tumblr.com/)  
> Happy Valentines Day! I hope you have a good day, and I'll see you next update!


	7. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathanael Kurtzberg transforms into the fox hero for the first time! Though, in his first night out, he might get more action than he hopes...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait! I really, truly, probably should have updated this story a long time ago, but I got stuck on parts of this chapter for a really long time. And, then I organized a Nathaniel Kurtzberg week with some friends on mine for Tumblr, which starts today! The first day is Hero or Villain, so it made sense to post this!  
> If you want to see the rest of the days, you can check out [nath-week](https://nath-week.tumblr.com/)  
> And the next chapter might be later than some of us would prefer as well, but I got stuck on THAT too, AND I was suddenly able to write on one of my original stories for the first time in YEARS and I'm milking that for all its worth.   
> So, again, sorry for the wait! But I really hope you all enjoy!

How long had he been asleep? He wasn’t sure. It felt like ages

He woke up to Trixx pulling and tugging at his hair, urging him to wake up. His phone was buzzing quietly on his nightstand--what was that alarm for again? 

“Come on, come on, let’s go!!” Trixx tugged harder, yanking his hair hard. His hand flew up to the aching part of his head--what was she so excited for?

Oh. Right.

He stood, stretching in an attempt to shake off sleep. Part of him wanted to just curl up in bed, just go back to sleep. No school, no miraculous--just sleep for awhile. But the other part of him was...mildly excited. He was going to transform, he was going to be a superhero! He had a chance to be something great! Then, there was the third part…

Which wasn’t important. He pushed down his feelings and stood to go fix up his hair. It was late, and hopefully nobody would see him anyways, but if he was going to be spotted, he definitely didn’t want his first public appearance in spandex to be with a bed-head. He grabbed a hairbrush and comb and set to work, as well as he could with a kwami on his head.

“So, you never explained; how  _ do  _ I transform?” He asked. Trixx lifted off his head and flew in a few excited circles around him. 

“All you have to say is ‘Trixx, Transforme moi!’ And you’ll become a superhero!” She said jovially.

“Right…” His heart thundered in his chest as be looked at himself in the mirror. That third feeling was beginning to well up inside him again… “Trixx?”

“Yes, Nathanael?”

“What… What if I’m not good enough?”

“Nathanael, you--”

“What if I mess up, what if I accidentally ruin  _ everything,  _ what if I end up helping Hawkmoth win?! I’m going to mess up, what if--”

“Nathanael!” He looked up as Trixx landed in his hair, beginning to pat his head. “You will be fine. We don’t have to do anything big today, we don’t even have to transform today if you don’t want! But I promise you, you’ll be just fine. You may make a few mistakes, and that’s okay. But you’ll be great, amazing even! I can feel it!” 

He looked at himself in the mirror one last time, and took a deep breath to calm his nerves. This  _ was  _ a lot of pressure, what with akumas already on the loose and being responsible for keeping all of Paris safe and sound. He wasn’t really sure he could do it still. But there was something inside him, some small part of him, pushing away his thoughts and fears and screaming that he could  _ be  _ somebody if he just took a chance. It was his duty, it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, he was  _ chosen _ for this. If he holed himself away and hid from his new reality, he would be letting Paris down for real. He had to try.

“...N-No. I was chosen for a reason, r-right? Let’s do this.”

Trxx beamed up at him, tail swishing to and fro. “Just say the magic words”

Another deep breath. He looked at himself in the mirror, finding himself face-to-face with an expression of steel. He was as ready as he’d ever be.

“Trixx, _ transforme moi! _ ”

Trixx giggled gleefully before flying into the miraculous, and it immediately began to glow with a light so powerful, it was hard to even look at any longer. Quickly after, energy seemed to flow through his entire being, starting from his chest and burning to his fingertips and toes. He closed his eyes and relished just how much power he felt coursing through him.

When he opened them, he wasn’t quite prepared for what he saw.

He was wearing a suit of skin-tight spandex, a bright sunburst orange with a thin black line starting at his shoulders and swelling until everything from his elbows down to his fingertips was an inky black. His chest was white, blending into the orange at the edges, the snowy hue continuing all the way down to his thighs. He had black boots, with a shiny black metallic material at the toes--steel, maybe?--the same inky black as his forearms. On his face was an orange domino mask with a small tiny curlique stretching out from below his right eye and fading to white at the end. Like a fox tail, he presumed.

That didn’t even approach what was on top of his head. Two ears, orange with black tips and white fur inside, rested amongst his hair.

He tugged at his hair, which had become white at the ends, frowning a bit in the mirror. He still wasn’t sure he actually deserved this, but… It was his one chance at freedom from a mundane, lonely life. Why not try it out?

He quietly slipped out of the bedroom to the front door, his footsteps silent against the usually-creaky floorboards. As he made his way to the roof, he quickly realized he could hear practically everything; quiet whispers from neighbor’s TV sets, mice skittering to and fro in the walls, the soft tapping of a spoon against a bowl as a family ate dinner. It was quite overwhelming; he wasn’t sure if he was a fan yet.

_ ‘You’ll get used to it soon, Nathanael,’  _ Trixx said.  _ ‘But if you want, I can try and lower your perception until you’re ready?’ _

“No, I think I’ll be fine,” he murmured, looking around as he opened the door to the rooftop floor. “Though it’s nice to know I can still talk to you like this.”

_ ‘We don’t usually, but since we’re training I figured I’d help you out a bit!’ _

“Oh! Well, thank you!”

The cold night air whipped around him, biting at the exposed parts of his face. The rest of him was kept surprisingly warm, considering how little he was really wearing. Must be a plus to his powers--a plus he was really appreciating in mid-October. Or perhaps it was just the adrenaline beginning to pound through him as he approached the edge of the rooftop.

_ ‘We’ll probably need a more private place to practice,’  _ Trixx suggested. Nathanael looked around. There were still a few cars out and about, some people headed out to late-night events… or on the lookout for Ladybug and Chat Noir as they patrol. With so many people keeping an eye to the rooftops of the city, it would be hard for him to get past without  _ someone _ spotting him. And even if he got past civilians--who’s to say he wouldn’t end up falling right into Ladybug’s hands?

Though, there were a few places he could try…

_ ‘Looking for how to get somewhere? Use your flute!’ _

“My flute…?”

_ ‘Yeah! You can press that first white stripe and it’ll show you a screen! You can use it as a communicator and a map!’ _ Nathanael raised an eyebrow but tried it anyhow. Sure enough, it worked.

“Wow… These powers are certainly expansive, hm?” he muttered to himself before finding where he wanted to go. He turned to the rooftops to his left and took a few steps back.

Immediately, panic began to fill his senses. The world seemed to spin around him. This was crazy, jumping around in spandex over rooftops! This was  _ crazy _ ! He could mess up, he could hurt himself,  _ he could die! _ There was no way he was doing this, there was no way he  _ could  _ do this--

Except something told him he could. There was a fire burning deep in his gut, driving him forward. So he took a deep breath and ran, taking the leap. 

It felt like he was flying. The chasm could have been  _ twenty _ feet down or twenty- _ thousand _ , but the exhilaration he felt as he jumped was incomparable to anything he’d ever done before. And it was over all too soon. When Nathanael’s feet touched the ground, he immediately wanted to do it again. 

“I… I did it. I did it!  _ I did it!  _ Yes!!” he let out a few celebratory whoops before he remembered--he was trying  _ not  _ to be found, and literally shouting from the rooftops was not a good way to stay unseen. He looked at his flute again to remind himself of his quickest route, and back again at the rooftops of Paris. “I wonder how high I can jump…”

_ ‘Only one good way to find out,’  _ Trixx taunted. A smile played across his lips as he took another running start.

Soaring across the night sky, over the unaware heads of a sleepy Paris, Nathanael quickly made his way to La Petite Ceinture. He landed on the tracks and took a quick look around, ensuring no one was here to see him. He’d gone unnoticed, but this part of the track was still fairly open. He followed the tracks along as long as he could, until they were overtaken by weeds and grass in a woodsy area. It was peaceful, and quiet--the perfect time to get used to his abilities. But what to do first…

He looked at his flute, admiring how the moonlight glinted off of its smooth surface. A lot of his powers  _ did _ relate to playing the flute… The redhead brought it up to his lips and tried to play. It squeaked a bit, but eventually he was playing---half-decently. Hopefully he wouldn’t need to be a pro at this to do some decent fighting. Although… there were no illusions yet… maybe he was getting this whole ‘clever as a fox’ thing all wrong, even if he did  _ look _ like one.

How was he supposed to protect Paris from akumas if he couldn’t even use his damn powers? Hell, there was already an akuma out there, and if he wanted to be any help in defeating him and saving all those captive kids, he needed to be ready  _ soon.  _

Suddenly, his senses were  _ flooded  _ with the sounds of everything around him. He hadn’t realized it was so lively, but clearly even if humans didn’t come here much there were still other creatures taking advantage of the solitude. But--Why was everything so loud all of a sudden?

“Trixx? Why is everything so much louder…” he muttered, looking around. Everything was so overwhelming, he was beginning to feel a headache coming on.

_ ‘I know, I know. But I heard something, you need to hear it too.’ _ Trixx responded. He nodded quietly and listened more intently, trying to single out one sound in particular. Indeed, after focusing for a bit, he did hear muttering from deeper in the forest, though he wasn’t sure what exactly was being said. Except for the word ‘Miraculous’ and ‘pawn shop.’

_ Oh hell no. _

“Who’s there?!” he demanded, jumping to his feet as fear coursed through him. How many even were there? Three? Five? Ten?! “I can hear you, all of you, so either go away or face me!

It took a moment, a few moments longer than Nathanael would have liked, but eventually they came out. They came out, alright--came charging at him, shouting. The yell rung all-too-loudly in his ears (damn heightened senses), and that plus the surprise caused him to stumble back and not much else.

_ ‘What are you doing?! Jump!’ _ Trixx shouted at him. So he listened, jumping as high as he could and finding himself above the trees, looking down at them. Then he started to fall back down.  _ ‘Now, twist!’ _

“What?!”

_ ‘Twist in the air, this is me teaching you how to fight!’ _

“Okay, okay,” he muttered, twisting in the air. As he kept falling and twisting, the thought of kicking one of the guys in the jaw crossed his mind--it might scare them off--

_ ‘If you kick that man right now you  _ will  _ kill him. Just land on the ground, and be ready to move once it’s over.’ _

“Once  _ what’s  _ over?”

_ ‘You’ll see. Get ready!’ _ Right, he was about ten feet from the ground now. He got ready to land, right in between the two, hoping his ankles wouldn’t shatter or something. 

When his feet touched the ground, the surface warped with a  _ bang _ . The attacker, and two of his friends, were all knocked backwards, and the trees and grass rustled madly. Before the assailants could recover, Nathanael was on the move again, running backwards and putting his flute to his lips and  _ desperately  _ hoping this worked.

_ ‘You need confidence!’ _ Trixx demanded.

Alright, fine. He  _ confidently _ desperately hoped this worked. He took a breath and started to play a note, an awfully beautifully-sounding note considering he had just started playing the day before. A copy of him appeared across the clearing, just a bit closer to the thugs than he actually was. So when his attackers recuperated and saw this copy taunting them from five meters away, they went after  _ him  _ instead of the real one ten meters away.

He stood there a few moments, watching his copy running away and leading the group after a red herring, and he couldn’t help but feel extremely satisfied. He’d  _ done it!  _ He  _ could _ do it! Maybe there was hope of him being a superhero after all! He bounced on his toes a bit, adrenaline still coursing through him, and let out a whoop of pure exhilaration.

Which was a  _ very  _ bad idea.

“Hey, wait a second!” one of the group members near the back said, turning around to face him. “That one’s  _ gotta  _ have the real jewel!”

“Fuck,” 

_ ‘Nathan!’ _ Trixx scolded.

“Sorry!” He turned and ran, hearing the shouts of the attackers behind him. He took a chance and jumped, directing himself towards a tree before landing on a branch and taking off in the trees until he was sure he’d lost them. 

Nathanael took a quick glance behind him to make sure they weren’t still following, making sure to send another illusion still running down the path just in case before taking the moment to look at his map. To reach civilization and head home, he’d have to go in a completely different direction anyways. After all that excitement, he was about ready to lay in bed and sleep for a thousand years anyhow. He headed down to the ground and peeked around again to make sure he wasn’t still being followed before heading that way.

If he remembered correctly, he had three songs left before he really needed to get out of here anyways. Three? Two? He had a few on hand. He could take a moment to walk and enjoy the sounds of nature, that was for sure, and talk to Trixx a bit.

“Did I do a good job?” he asked, breaking the silence between them.

_ ‘Of course you did! That was great, you certainly learn fast!’  _ he could sense Trixx grinning, and couldn’t help but smile too.

“Glad to know. So, I didn’t actually need flute lessons to start using my powers?”

_ ‘Well, no, not necessarily. Even if you hadn’t gone to lessons with Rose, you would have been able to use your powers if you had confidence--I’m sure your Ladybug hero didn’t know how to travel by yoyo the first time she transformed. Tikki is a lot better at teaching her Holders how to be confident than most of us.’ _

“Tikki?”

_ ‘Ladybug’s kwami!’ _

Right. Ladybug and Chat Noir had miraculous stones, like him. Which meant they had kwamis, like his--which meant they had to transform to use their powers. Somehow, despite Alya’s ardent dedication to finding their identities, he’d never quite realized they  _ had  _ secret identities to begin with. He’d imagined they stayed superheroes all day, running around Paris together helping people and having a good time and  _ always _ being ready to save the city from Hawkmoth’s latest akuma. But no, they’d have responsibilities outside of their costumes as well--it probably really piled on.

Was he ready to handle all that pressure?

_ ‘Of course you are, Nathanael! I’ll always be here to help you, and you have friends to count on as well!’ _

“That’s true. With you by my side, I’m sure I can do it!”

_ ‘That’s the spirit! Maybe we can come out here tomorrow and practice your powers again? There’s more for you to learn, and hopefully we can do it before you have to enter an actual battle.’ _

“What’ll we do about the clowns until then?”

_ ‘Hopefully we’ll be ready to handle it in time. And Ladybug and Chat Noir are always here to help us.’ _

“Right… do you think they’ll like me?”

_ ‘How could anyone not?’ _

“Well, I mean… You know that fox akuma I told you about? What if they think I’m just another akuma trying to trick them?”

_ ‘I’m sure we’ll be able to convince them otherwise before things get too bad.’ _ Nathanael couldn’t help but shudder. He hoped so--he was never going to be ready to face Ladybug and Chat Noir. They had been doing this hero thing for six months already, it had scarcely been an hour for him. 

Eventually they reached a few buildings, and he returned to the rooftops. He sat on a ledge and checked his flute to make sure he was still headed in the right direction before taking off across the Parisian skyline. 

Soon he found himself in downtown Paris, still hunting down his house. He wasn’t used to having a bird’s-eye view of his apartment, and amongst all the clusters of buildings it was quite difficult to even begin to identify which one it was. He was tempted to just detransform and walk home, but if his parents were back then they’d get pissed at him for being out late… to hell with it.

He dropped into a secluded alleyway and stood back onto his feet. “Trixx, detrans--wait.”

That was Lila’s bag. Or at least one that looked a lot like her bag, but either way it was strange to see it just lying in an alleyway with no owner. He grabbed the bag and looked out into the street, but she wasn’t there, and neither was anyone looking for a bag. The alley went a bit further back, one of many strange alley systems in Paris, so the only option was to look there.

Making sure to be as quiet as possible, he followed the walls until he found himself looking at Lila’s back, and a giant hulking clown surrounded by smaller ones he’d seen around--the same clown that had tried to lure him from the park. He was staring at Lila, his eyes glowing, and there was definitely no sign of her fighting back. But why would she just stand--wait!!

“Lila!!” he shouted, running and grabbing her and pulling her back. The clowns all leaped into action, reaching for him. He pulled his flute to his lips and played, still trying to keep a hold on Lila, and conjured a few dozen of himself for them to fight before running off, pulling Lila with him as he leapt to another rooftop and ran. When he felt that he was far enough, he set her down and turned to her. “Are you alright?!”

She wasn’t speaking. She just stared at him blankly, eyes a strange glowing yellow.

“Lila?! Lila, snap out of it!”

_ ‘That akuma must have put her in a trance of some sort.’ _

“How do I get her out of it?!”

_ ‘I don’t know! Hit her or something!’ _

“What?! No, I’m not hitting her!”

_ ‘I mean, like, pinch her or something, you don’t have to break her!’ _

He supposed that was his best shot. He gave her a quick pinch on her inner arm and she jumped, eyes returning to their normal color as she rubbed her arm. 

“Ouch! That hurt, why’d you--whoa…” she stared up at him, gaping. He took a step back, hoping he wasn’t too close or anything.

“Are you alright? I’m sorry, I had to pinch you because an akuma put you in a trance.”

“I…’m fine. Who…” oh fuck, was she going to ask who he was? He had no clue what to call himself. He needed to change the topic before he ended up being called ‘Foxy’ or something all his hero-ing life.

“We need to get you home.”

“What, you didn’t stop the akuma?”

“No, actually, I can’t purify akumas and I don’t think Ladybug and Chat Noir know about it yet.”

“Do they know about  _ you? _ ”

“Eventually. Hold on.” Lila wrapped her arms around his neck and he leaped off the roof onto the next one, and the next. “Where’s your house from here?

“I have no idea, actually. Never seen my house from up here.”

“Same here. So, basically, you need to not follow clowns around the city. You seen the news?”

“Well, yes, but I didn’t really believe it. Thought it was some sort of prank.”

“That’s fair. But it’s not. Tell your friends it’s not a prank, too. I think he’s turning people into his minions.”

“Alright, I will. So, you  _ don’t  _ work with Ladybug and Chat Noir?”

“Well, no. Not yet.” he paused a bit to look around. “But I probably will have to eventually.”

“Hm.”

“You recognize anything?” Lila took a glance down and winced at the height. “Need me to go lower?”

“Please?” he nodded and made his way to the ground, letting Lila down to the ground while he crouched atop a dumpster nearby. “...I recognize that storefront. I know my way back from here.”

“Alright. I need to get going, but promise me not to follow any weird clowns.”

“I promise not to follow any weird clowns.”

“Okay. See you around,” he grinned before leaping off into the night. When he glanced back, he saw Lila waving.

* * *

It wasn’t until he flopped onto his bed thirty minutes later that he realized he’d never asked her not to mention him.

“Well. People were going to know sooner or later.” Trixx sighed as he detransformed, flying over to the bag of bacon on his desk.

“I know, I know. But now Ladybug and Chat Noir are gonna hunt me down.” he groaned, clawing his hands down his face.

“At least people will know the clown is an akuma now.”

“They’re gonna pummel me.”

“It’ll probably save a few dozen kids now.”

“They’re gonna beat the snot out of me, grind me into the dirt.”

“Probably a few teens and adults too,”

“I’m going to die. I need to write my will.”

“You’re not going to die. We’ll handle it when the time comes, but I promise you that.”

Nathan let out a sigh before forcing himself back up. He needed to shower.

After a refreshing shower, he was ready to sleep for once. Except, now that he actually wanted to sleep, he couldn’t. Everything was still too loud, he could still hear far too much.

“I must’ve forgotten to tell you,” Trixx said once he mentioned it. “Some of your powers will stick with you whether you’re transformed or not. And being able to hear a bit better is one of them.”

“So am I never gonna sleep again?”

“You’ll get used to it eventually. But there’s another thing you can do--you can kind of make little personal illusions for yourself.”

“Well, yeah, it’s called LSD, and I’m pretty sure its illegal.”

“No, no, no! I mean, with your powers. Just look at the ceiling for a bit and imagine something.”

Nathan let out another sigh but tried it anyways. Trying to count sheep, he soon found himself looking at swirls of colors on the ceiling. It was absolutely beautiful. He reached up to touch one of the swirling eddies and his fingertips were on fire with sensation. It was exciting, but also soothing. Soon he found his eyelids getting heavier and heavier...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you all enjoyed this! Hopefully, the next chapter will come quicker!  
> This chapter was beta'ed by Wishfulina, Flautist4ever, and Zoozoocala! Go follow them on Tumblr!  
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**Author's Note:**

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> Thanks for tuning in! Have a wonderful day!


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